Well things overall are going ok, I just need to rant about those things that aren't right now. I know things could be worse but to be dealing with some of this stuff years after my transition is frustrating. You see my favorite aunt on my dad's side is very ill, and nobody on my dad's side knows that I am now Ashley, they still think I'm good old Scott. I've offered to send out Christmas letters, or other ways to come out to the members of his family that matter, and he has been against it. I love my dad so I've listened like a good girl, but now here we are with a situation that one of my loved ones is ill and isn't going to come out of it, and I feel so powerless. I feel like somehow I'm supposed to feel ashamed for what I am, why else hide it from your own family? But I refuse to feel ashamed for being something I am proud of surviving. My dad said he would talk to my uncle and aunt about the whole thing so I could go see her before it was too late. Luckily my sister thought my dad had already spoken to them and inadvertantly spilled the beans. Whether or not her intentions were good or not one will never know,I have a feeling she was telling them hoping they would have a problem with it like she does. I'm sure with her telling the tale she put it in not the best light, but I got a call from dad yesterday giving me the go ahead for going to visit her, they are ok with it. The only problem is now, I'm sick with a sinus infection and have to wait a few days so the meds can kick in, which brings us to rant #2.
I've had the same doctor since I was 18, he's been good to me over the years, and after finding out about my trans issues offered his help in any way. That was until I tried to get him to pull out my stitches, yeah any way but that. Yesterday I had to go see him for the first time since after my surgery last year, I've had a very healthy year indeed. Well I call, and his receptionist gives me a tude, which is normal for her I guess, but when I see the good doc, he has a tude too. No questions on how I'm healing, how I've been, doing etc. No apologies for canceling my appointment to take out my stitches when I was on my way to his office. No small talk at all trans or otherwise. I know he has another trans patient who is pre op last I knew, you'd think he might want some info for that patient, nope, nadda, nothing. "Yep, your sick, here's a prescription, here's a note for work, give me your $30 and get out." I think it may be time to start looking for a new doctor, one who's mouth doesn't write checks his ass can't cash.
Speaking of checks, ah forget it, don't want to bitch about work here too much, might be that last bit of information completing the puzzle which blows my cover. Let's just say there are some people that shouldn't be in the position they are in corporate america. You know the kind where you can tell if they are lieing because their lips are in motion.
Anyway I apologize for barely touching base on some of this shit, I'm still under the weather and not at my best this morning.
Love to all, and of course take care.
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2 comments:
Take care and feel better soon!
I know what you mean about family. I only see my father’s side of the family for weddings and funerals; I don’t plan on telling them. All my aunts and uncles on that side of the family have passed away, so the hell with them.
But with my mother’s sister it is different, she is the last of my mother’s sisters and I hope that she will finally accept me. she is having a hard time understanding.
As for the doctors, yeah, my doctor is the same way. He hasn’t said a word or asked any questions. I wish I could make Dr. P my primary care physician.
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