The times they are a changing....

With surgery rapidly approaching I find myself looking at life at surgery and I am starting to wonder how many other things will change in my life afterwards. For so long I've been so good at doing stuff because I had to reach my goal. But what happens when "have to" disappears. I won't "have to" do anything. I've been so focused on this one goal for so long and it has kept me going so strong I'm afraid that once it's gone my drive will be as well.

Maybe I'm wrong and my strong protestant work ethic has gotten me used to working 70 hours a week, and going without much of a social life. Maybe I have the fortitude that lets me go beyond what most normal people do. I don't think so, in fact I feel ashamed most of the time that I don't do more even though I know I do more than many people. I consider myself lazy even though I work 2 jobs and don't shy away from work. I just feel I can always do more because I haven't passed out yet. I don't know why I feel this way I just do. Is my drive caused by my desire to work towards my goal? Is it the testosterone that soon will no longer be in my system, or is it in my blood and I will continue to have the same drive?

Hopefully my drive will stay with me. I have potential to do so much more with my life than I am currently doing. I would rather look back at all the things I got accomplished at the end of my days rather than anguish over all I didn't. The times they are a changing and soon "have to" will go the way of the dinosaurs. Hopefully my drive and determination won't go with it.

Hugs and enjoy......


The Times They Are a Changing
Bob Dylan

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.