I decided to spend the entire day yesterday with the fam, and skip things like blogging, and throwing a party. It had been tradition for awhile for holding a picnic on the 4th, not only to celebrate the holiday, but also the anniversary of me asking Co out. I guess it was part celebration and part keeping an environment open for the same to happen to someone else. Co and I decided to go out at someone else's 4th of July picnic, and it's been interesting since to say the least.The other part of it was I'm suffering from an upper respiratory infection. With all the wet weather we've had I think I got a dose of mold at work where half the people are sick with similar symptoms. So with not feeling good I figured it would be prudent to go hang at the beach. We had other plans for after that but my daughter put a kibosh on that with a temper tantrum she threw at the beach.
It's hard at times to look back and see what Co and I have lost in the way things used to be. But on the other hand when you look at what we still have and share it's mind-blowing. Nobody I know in the same situation we are in get along as well. We are probably closer friends now then when we were married. Yes the sex is out of our life since she isn't into chicks, but while I may be hurt by the lack of attraction I can understand.
As things move forward I hope she will continue to be my best friend. It's only 6 weeks from this last Monday until I go under the blade. Shit's coming up quickly and I know it will be tough on both of us as things finally happen. In another strange turn of events I've been asked out by a guy, not on a real date, but out for a beer. He's a nice guy with a little off center sense of humor which is a perfect fit for me, if I was looking for that. For now I'll go out have a soda(won't drink beer) and see how it is trying to be friends with a straight male as a woman. I'm not looking for a straight relationship right now, if that is even what it would be called. I'm too afraid of consequences about how to tell the person about my past, and how they may react. I can't hide it, that shit only makes things worse. So it's going to be awhile before this gal has any relations with anyone new. Not to mention it will be 8 weeks after surgery or 14 weeks from now (God willing) before I could even use my pending new equipment.
Anyway lots of tangents, little focus, story of my life. Gotta go hope you all had safe and joyous 4th of July.
Love to all and of course take care.
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