It's not easy being green...

"It's Not Easy Bein' Green" (lyrics by Joe Rapposo)
Sung by Kermit the frog

It's not that easy bein' green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold-
or something much more colorful like that.

It's not easy bein' green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water- or stars in the sky.

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? Wonder,
I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.

Sometimes it's not easy being trans either. As humans we all seem to spend so much time wishing we were different or had more. I wish I had surgery, I wish I didn't get grouped in so much by the uninformed with the freaks they show on tv. I wish I could just be me and not have to make excuses or work so hard for something most people never have to worry about.

Yeah unlike Kermit I'm not happy with myself these days, but after so many years of hating what I was who could blame me? I have had a tough time and have been through allot. I am happy for what I have though. I have employment, I have love and friendship, I have a future of sorts, I have survived through adversity, I have my looks, and of course my modesty too. For all that I don't have I do have allot, for as hard as it has been in finally becoming me I have discovered along the way the true meaning to many things. I know what true love and friendship are. I've learned how low one can go into despair and how hard it is to climb back up. I've learned how to win even when you lose. I've learned when you "lose everything" you still got something. Most importantly I've learned to express myself, to let myself be free, to cry, to listen, how to wipe away another's tears and how to be a real friend.

As hard of a time I have had, I've been blessed with many life lessons, and have made some of the closest friends along the way. I'm still standing, ain't dead yet, and as long as there is fight in me I hope to be doing so for awhile longer.

Thanks to all those who have helped make it a little bit better even though I'm not happy being green.

Love to all and g'nite.