The soundtrack of my current life...

I have always loved music every since I can remember. I have never though enjoyed the mindless rhythmic crap with no soul in its lyrics that is so often played today. I love music from all genres, my only prerequisite is in the content of the lyrics themselves. This weekend I went and downloaded (legally I assure you) a bunch of new songs for my mp3 player.

I downloaded a bunch of songs both happy and sad, from the surreal cover by Paul Anka of Nirvana's smells like Teen spirit, to the haunting wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot. Some of these songs speak to me in the here and now, while others are long lasting in my head. A few of them are more special to me at this time then others, and here are some excerpts.

Please come to Boston-written by Dave Loggins, sung by Kenny Chesney

Now this drifter's world goes 'round and 'round
And I doubt that it's ever gonna stop
But of all the dreams I've lost or found
And all that I ain't got
I still need to lean to
Somebody I can sing to


This song has always been one of my favorites, and when I heard the new version by Kenny Chesney I just had to have it. It is such a strong song about someone reaching out for an old love to join him in his new life. I can feel his pain. It's going to be awhile before I find that someone special in my life. I know my standards are a little high. I don't want to date someone prettier than me(co is the exception to this rule), I don't want to date someone who is needier than me. Of course I have the general standards on age, weight, etc. I really don't want a relationship with someone old enough to have seen me in diapers or young enough that I could have changed theirs. I want someone who cares about themselves, tries to stay healthy both physically and mentally. Somebody with a moral and value set close to my own. Someday maybe either I'll meet that special someone, or I'll just lower my standards.

Hurt- written by Trent Reznor-sung by Johnny Cash
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear my crown of shit
On my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

Ok so this song is a bit dark, yeah and Bush is a bit stubborn at times. The version by Johnny Cash is so haunting. I bought this albulm and played it so much I wore the bitch out. It is his "goodbye" albulm. June hadn't died yet, but you could hear in his voice that he knew both their ends where coming soon. I cannot listen to most of the songs on that albulm without crying. If you like his music go out and buy The man comes around, it's worth every penny.

This song is about the blackness in my soul I feel from the guilt I have in doing this. I feel like the emperor of a pile of nothing. I feel like I have let certain people down, I thought I had beaten my problems, and they came back, I feel like a liar. It speaks of the numbness I sometimes feel in being alone, of how I sometimes feel I am the same, and other people have changed. It is hard when you go through a change like I have, yes I am basically the same person inside, but so much of the outside has changed, that folks do treat you differently. I just need to learn how to deal with it.

parabola- written and performed by Maynard of Tool
Swirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate
this chance to be alive and breathing
a chance to be alive and breathing.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment.
Remember.
we are eternal.
all this pain is an illusion.

I love this song so much I want to have some it's lyrics tattooed on me someday. This song reminds me that this life is a gift,we need to treat it as such. We need to soak up each experience, and enjoy life for what it is, and do something in this world to help our bigger eternal life. It reminds me that the pain in this world is just an illusion, it is temporary, non important in the eternal realm of things. We are eternal, we can sit and argue for no good reason where we go after we die, and what we do, but the truth is plain and simple, we do go on. We need to focus more on the health of our souls than our place here in the materail here and now. It is this belief that helps me deal with all the pain and suffering we have in this world. It makes me not weep for days on end for what happened on the gulf coast. There is so much pain and suffering going on there and around this earth that it could overwhelm you if not for the big picture of things.

These are the songs that make up my mood lately, thanks for listening, hope you all have songs that make you feel, think, be alive. Thats what music is made for, to make us think, to tell a story, to open our minds. Remember the mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open.

Love to all, and g'nite.