Sorry I'm continuing to be an odd mood of late, the title sounded cute. I know I haven't blogged in a bit, haven't had the time to. So I'll try to cover as much as I can.
Work is ok. My boss has been on vacation seeing her brand new grandson, so it has been quiet. Everybody is on pins and needles for her return since her assistant annouced she is leaving at the end of this week. I can't blame her for leaving she is going to make much more $ than she can make at the paper. Everyone is worried that the boss is going to take out her stress on everyone since she will be doing extra work. I worried at first, but I can't really control how she acts, I can control how I react to it. It's taken me over 35 years to learn, but people really shouldn't worry about shit they can't control, it's wasted energy. My boss is a good person inside, she sometimes lets the stress make her seem not so nice. I can't blame her, she has a stressful job as it is, nevermind adding extra work to it. I'm sure we'll all be fine, we did it before and are still alive, we will all get through it this time too.
Speaking of work, I had an odd situation happen today. I was talking with a co-worker about birthdays. Her birthday is coming up, and told her mine as we were born the same year. I said "mine's easy, I'm the first born and my b-day is 1/11." She replied" oh so you were the first twin born? How much older are you?" I said I didn't remember nor did I want to talk about it. I had forgotten part of my cover story with her was I had a twin brother Scott, and Co was married to him, which is why I was always talking to co and doing stuff with her.
I hate the fact that I did that. But I can't turn back the clock and change things now. I was early into my transition when I told her this, I was "young" and didn't know any better. I don't bother making up elaborate stories much anymore, it makes me feel dirty and cheap when I lie like that. I have enough self esteem issues as it is not to have to add more logs to the fire.
It's funny that just last week I saw a show on one of the Discovery channels about people in the witness relocation program. They were interviewing folks that had been in the program, and the hardships they went through in the process. They had to get new names, gave up their friends and family, had no work history, and had to come up with phony histories to fit in. Hmmm sounds awful familiar. Almost every damn Tranny goes through the same shit, minus the government assistance. We lose so much for something that is not our fault. I don't feel sorry for most of the people they talked to. All but one were crooks that were caught and decided to snitch on their cohorts to save their own ass. If they had been responsible, and accepted the punishment for what they had done, they never would have had to go through all that. We don't chose to go through this whole process we have to, we just get to a point where we have 2 choices a. change things or b. end things. Those of us that are still here obviously chose a, even though some of us went for b and failed, thank God.
My Dad's b-day was Saturday, the big 60. Lately though he hasn't been acting his age. He just bought a nice new Corvette, it is so sweet. He also finally dumped his girlfriend of 17 years and started dating a new gal. The new gal is so much nicer than the old one. This gal is alive like my dad, she is sooooo sweet to us and the kids, and is great for my dad. We found out Saturday that when they go to Aruba next month for vacation they are going to get married. I'm so happy for dad, I hope this one lasts. The only bad part is that we don't get to be there. My neurotic brain is making me think it is because my dad doesn't want to have to explain me to relatives at a wedding, but my heart slapped my neurosis upside it's head and made me snap out of it. I guess when you've been through 2 marriages already the 3rd time is not a big deal. I say third times a charm, and I hope I'm right, they seem great for each other.
The bad part about Saturday was seeing my sister. We are so different it isn't funny, I'm blue collar, down to earth, she's a snotty bitch. She still will use my old name both in front of me and behind my back. She obviously isn't very supportive. We were talking about an old neighbor of ours whose sister lived in a nice trailer park. I stated I liked the area, and would love to live there, but they are a 55+ retirement community. She responded "eww a trailer park, how could you tell people you lived in a trailer park, what would they think?!" That there is her problem, she is too concerned what other people think. Some people, like her inlaws don't agree with my life(damn Methodist bastards) so she disagrees too. On a bright note I got to see my little brother, even though we had a little fight back in July that is still being worked out. We both didn't mention it in order to give dad a good day, which was a good thing indeed.
Other than that I've been working hard during the day, working on my book and my blankets at night. I'm trying to keep my hands from being too idle indeed, but soon I will need to start looking for a night job to help things get back on track transition wise. I just need to reset my sleep patterns to human, from the sick half nocturnal one I was forced to have from the last job.
Love to all and g'nite.
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